He reflexively reaches over his shoulder with the same arm and grabs a fistful of Vash's collar. He ducks, bending his hips, shoving them directly back into Vash's waist and groin and using the leverage to toss Vash over his shoulder onto the ground.
He then drops himself on top of Vash with one elbow, T-chan in his arms and all.]
What have you done to T-chan?! He's a carnivore and only eats meat!
[ oop they're just all broken men, playing like broken records. He takes the dainty hand and lifts himself up. Even though Vash is pretty heavy, he makes sure to carry his own weight.
D might also notice that this hand in particular doesn't feel... Flesh. ]
Thanks, D. [ He pats himself off. ] No Man's Land was always a desert planet. The native species there thrive, just humans don't. There is some vegetation, but they're made by Plants.
They can keep holding hands, though this hand is devoid of warmth. The palm is... Covered, gloved. No lewd bare palms here. With a matching connector around his wrist, piecing it to the longer piece that covers his whole forearm up to the middle of his bicep. It's form-fitted, wrapped tightly with a number of belts. ]
That's right! [ His eyes are round like an owl's. ] Wow. How much have they told you?
[Listen, I don't know. Contractual agreements when you take the D name.
He is looking at this hand, knowing it is the most not fleshy and normal hand he's ever not seen in his life. Unfortunately, he keeps holding it because of touch week.
Don't think you can give him OWL eyes and expect him to feel sorry for you.]
That there isn't any vegetation really. That the land is harsh and dry, a desert, and that people left an old world for it.
[He...... holds the flesh hand? He did not have any issue with the not fleshy hand, but only because Vash is not devoid of flesh. "There's only thing worse than a human." [removes paper, ROBOT HUMAN] "A robot."]
So they were already there?
[WOW. He looks just slightly offended. FROWNS. He glances at their single tree, and when he does, his expression softens considerably. Disgusting. He looks at this tree so fondly, PLEASE HELP HIM.]
Those, trees. The whole world was once covered with them except for the most harsh environments. Everything was lush, the air was unspoiled. But now humans have destroyed much of them to make room for their cities and roads and towns, for themselves. Parks are their desperate attempt to preserve a crude outdoor museum for them to enjoy.
[ It's simple as that and it isn't a chide or a harsh correction. It's stated like a history fact. Vash listens and it's touching to listen to D show such respect and admiration to nature, but on the other hand... ]
[Listen... (sister mini voice) if not made of meat, you will get beat.
He makes a tiny bit of a face at this, like he thinks he's being patronized, that his feelings are being invalidated. Sadly for Vash, he does look a little hurt.]
[He is ASKING SHUT UPPP. I want to go back to giving you dumbass characters a bi gass instead of THIS.]
Searching for another beautiful world to destroy. How like humans to use up all they have without care and then run to do it somewhere else in a panic.
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[DON'T COME UP BEHIND HIM SAYING THAT???
He reflexively reaches over his shoulder with the same arm and grabs a fistful of Vash's collar. He ducks, bending his hips, shoving them directly back into Vash's waist and groin and using the leverage to toss Vash over his shoulder onto the ground.
He then drops himself on top of Vash with one elbow, T-chan in his arms and all.]
What have you done to T-chan?! He's a carnivore and only eats meat!
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[ And yet Vash doesn't do anything while D just manhandles him like that. He basically allows himself to be ragdolled by a twink.
This has been very interesting in Vash's point of view, honestly. This is martial arts? He thinks to himself. ]
And I don't know what's wrong with him. I'm made of meat? Flesh?!
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T-chan thinks you taste very awful.
[T-chan hasn't even said anything. Both of them glare at Vash.]
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All a man does is exist and he gets stones casted his way...
[ Since it is touch week, he touches D's shoulder, I guess. That is his retaliation. ]
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The bad thing is T-chan growls protectively at Vash and flinches forward, but D is holding him, so it’s fine.]
You are the weirdest most frustrating man. Why would you joke about being toxic?
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[ Hang it on his warehouse wall. He just gives D some soft pats, hoping this shows T-chan he isn't here to harm??? HE IS A PACIFIST. ]
Because it's ridiculous...? You see that he's fine and kicking. I'm not going to hurt your owner, little guy.
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[T-chan agrees with a snort on Vash’s hand. D rolls himself gracefully into a stand, still keeping a hold of T-chan. Or he would maybe offer a hand.]
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[ Which extends to someone dying from biting him. He's going to stay here lying down on the cold hard ground.
At least the single tree comforts him. ]
Trees are a rarity where I'm from.
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Wow, okay.]
I see you really do know Mr. Wolfwood. And Mr. Livio, too.
[How many times has he heard this AWFUL fucking phrase said to him.]
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... They said the same thing, huh.
[ He raises a hand, flexing his fingers. Help him up. ]
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Yes. It's so wonderful to hear about a planet sucked dry and left with nothing but arid deserts and no plants.
[He shifts T-chan under one of his arms, but pauses for the LONGEST time. Then offers Vash one demure, nailed hand.]
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D might also notice that this hand in particular doesn't feel... Flesh. ]
Thanks, D. [ He pats himself off. ] No Man's Land was always a desert planet. The native species there thrive, just humans don't. There is some vegetation, but they're made by Plants.
[ THIS MUST BE CONFUSING. ]
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He doesn’t let go of Vash’s hand…]
Plants are providing life for the humans who cannot thrive where they don’t belong.
[Actually.
He understands very well how this probably goes based on prejudices alone.
He pulls the arm closer and turns it over so he can look at the palm within his own.]
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They can keep holding hands, though this hand is devoid of warmth. The palm is... Covered, gloved. No lewd bare palms here. With a matching connector around his wrist, piecing it to the longer piece that covers his whole forearm up to the middle of his bicep. It's form-fitted, wrapped tightly with a number of belts. ]
That's right! [ His eyes are round like an owl's. ] Wow. How much have they told you?
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He is looking at this hand, knowing it is the most not fleshy and normal hand he's ever not seen in his life. Unfortunately, he keeps holding it because of touch week.
Don't think you can give him OWL eyes and expect him to feel sorry for you.]
That there isn't any vegetation really. That the land is harsh and dry, a desert, and that people left an old world for it.
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WHY WOULD YOU FEEL SORRY FOR HIM?? He's just :O because he has to remember Wolfwood and Livio probably told people stuff. ]
The last part is wrong, but for the most part that sums up No Man's Land. [ Nodding. ] ... Are parks usually like what you described?
[ Implying that D might be a little spoiled. ]
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So they were already there?
[WOW. He looks just slightly offended. FROWNS. He glances at their single tree, and when he does, his expression softens considerably. Disgusting. He looks at this tree so fondly, PLEASE HELP HIM.]
Those, trees. The whole world was once covered with them except for the most harsh environments. Everything was lush, the air was unspoiled. But now humans have destroyed much of them to make room for their cities and roads and towns, for themselves. Parks are their desperate attempt to preserve a crude outdoor museum for them to enjoy.
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It wasn't a choice.
[ It's simple as that and it isn't a chide or a harsh correction. It's stated like a history fact. Vash listens and it's touching to listen to D show such respect and admiration to nature, but on the other hand... ]
We sure have a lot of intense feelings here.
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He makes a tiny bit of a face at this, like he thinks he's being patronized, that his feelings are being invalidated. Sadly for Vash, he does look a little hurt.]
It isn't a lie. [Hmph.] You first.
[The feelings.]
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You're not wrong... Everything you said is right for my home, too. [ Which D already knows, but uh. His eyes widen again.
WHY DOES D KEEP DOING THIS TO HIM? PUTTING HIM ON THE SPOT? He points to himself. ]
Me first? For what?!
[ HE'S LOST ]
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You said it wasn't by choice.
[Explain what it means, broom head, he wants to know the human-planet lore because he's a weirdo.]
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They crashed.
[ YEAH? ]
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And? Are you always this difficult?
[HE IS ABOUT TO RATSHAKE VASH UPSIDE DOWN.]
They crashed what? A ship?
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[ HElpP Maybe they mentioned colony ships?! Maybe they didn't?! ]
Colony ships. When earth's resources were low, humans started searching the galaxy for new planets to inhabit in case things went wrong back at home?
[ or just colonize, honestly ]
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Searching for another beautiful world to destroy. How like humans to use up all they have without care and then run to do it somewhere else in a panic.
[Talks shit in front of the human sympathizer.]
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