[There is nowhere to dry his hands, so he kind of gives up and lightly dries them on a part of his clothes that isn't stained. Then he stands.]
Didn't you say you preferred when people were themselves? I don't think you are the only one. This Game has been very unfair to a lot of people, Miss Ruby included. I do not like the unfortunate nature of her demise.
Though... I too am like the others who selfishly refuse dying to end a cycle, instead wanting to return home.
I did say that, yeah. And I still mean it. But with how everything is...I don't know. I don't want to bring down anyone else's mood with it while people are trying to distract themselves and have fun.
But you're right. The game's been unfair since the start, and it's frustrating and I'm frustrated and I kind of wish I could just disappear for a while but I have things to figure out still because my biggest problem now still isn't solved. [ ... ] I don't think it's selfish not to want to die for someone else's greater good. But I also think it's not wrong to feel like shit for feeling that way.
You aren’t wrong to feel those things. What has happened is a reminder now for whatever future you decide to give yourself. Not to take things for granted. Not to forget how others are affected by what you do.
I know you are already aware of all of this. You are a thoughtful young man. I just wanted to reiterate how this outcome, though sour, is one we will have to accept.
Believe me, I know...I learned that some time ago, and I'm trying to be more conscious of that sort of thing. Of what people expect, and how other people will feel about things I'm doing. For a while, I wasn't even sure what kind of future I wanted or even if I had one to want. And I can't say I have a better idea now, but at least it's something to take more serious.
[ but he takes a breath and he nods. ]
It's like I've been saying. We have to always make choices we can live with. This was just another series of choices we couldn't run away from.
You have only a little time to decide what to do here at the end, but in the grand scheme of things, you don’t have to have your future set in stone.
As long as you give a bit of consideration to the future while you’re here in the present. Try not to look so heavily at the past, if you’ll simply trust me on that. Remember, but don’t let it keep you from making your future better.
...funny. Kyoko said similar to me when I was trying to figure out my whole life if I ever got it back. [ and it's still something he's trying to figure out, but maybe d is right. looking so heavily at the past maybe has been a thing weighing him down for a long time. it's been the thing that's shaped him as a person, the thing he's held onto. those events of the past were a large part of who jonas was, but they don't always have to be who jonas is, maybe.
the thing about it is, this feels like a trick question. it's his natural distrust of people flaring up almost immediately, but simultaneously, if he thinks about it, d has been...pretty upfront with him. straightforward. not much to hide. d has always asked intelligent questions and gotten a read on jonas most people didn't immediately and maybe it's the fact they're all leaving tomorrow anyway.
so yeah. it's tentative, the way he approaches, but he does settle for a hug. weirdest development here, and yet. ]
I don't know if this is helping you at all. But I kind of hope maybe it does. [ the gesture, he means. ] But I've never found a reason not to consider your advice before, so...I think I can trust that.
[JONAS NEEDS SO MUCH THERAPY NOW, WOW. We need to have a therapy murdergame, or maybe just a THERAPIST in one. (Not an evil therapist, though, like Hannibal.)
He doesn't move until Jonas comes to him and starts the hug, and then he reciprocates. Jonas gets a firm squeeze around the shoulders. Squeeze all that trauma out.]
I think you should allow yourself the space to feel angry, or upset, or sad for as long as you need. [So funny coming from him, of all people. Listen.] There isn't anything wrong with that even if all of this is going to be over.
[I keep thinking about D having to be Christian in the graveyard after cyoa and Jonas's hang-ups and their conversation previously. HELP ME.]
The things everyone has had to do here with stay with them. It's your decision whether you let it haunt you. It doesn't have to, but it will take a lot of time.
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no subject
Didn't you say you preferred when people were themselves? I don't think you are the only one. This Game has been very unfair to a lot of people, Miss Ruby included. I do not like the unfortunate nature of her demise.
Though... I too am like the others who selfishly refuse dying to end a cycle, instead wanting to return home.
no subject
But you're right. The game's been unfair since the start, and it's frustrating and I'm frustrated and I kind of wish I could just disappear for a while but I have things to figure out still because my biggest problem now still isn't solved. [ ... ] I don't think it's selfish not to want to die for someone else's greater good. But I also think it's not wrong to feel like shit for feeling that way.
no subject
[More than Jonas is aware probably.]
You aren’t wrong to feel those things. What has happened is a reminder now for whatever future you decide to give yourself. Not to take things for granted. Not to forget how others are affected by what you do.
I know you are already aware of all of this. You are a thoughtful young man. I just wanted to reiterate how this outcome, though sour, is one we will have to accept.
no subject
Believe me, I know...I learned that some time ago, and I'm trying to be more conscious of that sort of thing. Of what people expect, and how other people will feel about things I'm doing. For a while, I wasn't even sure what kind of future I wanted or even if I had one to want. And I can't say I have a better idea now, but at least it's something to take more serious.
[ but he takes a breath and he nods. ]
It's like I've been saying. We have to always make choices we can live with. This was just another series of choices we couldn't run away from.
no subject
As long as you give a bit of consideration to the future while you’re here in the present. Try not to look so heavily at the past, if you’ll simply trust me on that. Remember, but don’t let it keep you from making your future better.
[He parts his arms.]
Would you like a hug, Jonas?
no subject
the thing about it is, this feels like a trick question. it's his natural distrust of people flaring up almost immediately, but simultaneously, if he thinks about it, d has been...pretty upfront with him. straightforward. not much to hide. d has always asked intelligent questions and gotten a read on jonas most people didn't immediately and maybe it's the fact they're all leaving tomorrow anyway.
so yeah. it's tentative, the way he approaches, but he does settle for a hug. weirdest development here, and yet. ]
I don't know if this is helping you at all. But I kind of hope maybe it does. [ the gesture, he means. ] But I've never found a reason not to consider your advice before, so...I think I can trust that.
no subject
He doesn't move until Jonas comes to him and starts the hug, and then he reciprocates. Jonas gets a firm squeeze around the shoulders. Squeeze all that trauma out.]
I think you should allow yourself the space to feel angry, or upset, or sad for as long as you need. [So funny coming from him, of all people. Listen.] There isn't anything wrong with that even if all of this is going to be over.
[I keep thinking about D having to be Christian in the graveyard after cyoa and Jonas's hang-ups and their conversation previously. HELP ME.]
The things everyone has had to do here with stay with them. It's your decision whether you let it haunt you. It doesn't have to, but it will take a lot of time.