(homo) bigolas dickolas

[onlypets]

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[crucifer]

[ He looks at Arizona. ]

Not as sandy as I'm used to, but sure. It's not that different from what I usually see.

Doesn't that make it boring, though? This place is so that you can try looking like you're in different places... I think.

[ Photo studios exist... in his weird technological mire canon. ]

[onlypets]

[Nicholas, your modeling studios...]

The subject should fit the setting, I think, or... it just seems... unnatural and out of place. T-chan is not an arid environment creature...

[He's putting so much thought into this and for what.]

You seem to know quite a bit about all of this. Maybe you can show us.

[crucifer]

[ You've discovered it... his side job... ]

You're pretty mindful of this actually, aren't you?

[ Count D just analysed and picked apart the setting and what photo studios should be for in seconds when Wolfwood could personally care less and wouldn't bother. ]

I'm not a professional, but I can use my imagination. Lots of kids wanna imagine being out in space. Adults aren't so wild, but maybe they wanna have just one nice photo with the people they like.

[onlypets]

[Only Fans Wolfwood.]

It's what you have to consider. All things have a place in the world.

[He just looks back at Wolfwood with T-chan.]

So there is no artistic merit, only... sentimental value for the quality time? I understand. Well. [He claps his hands together gently by his stomach.] It looks like Mr. Wolfwood is going to be taking photos with us, T-chan.

Isn't that nice of him?

[crucifer]

[ You know what, in a modern AU, sure. He needs to make money somehow.

Anyway. Do they, though... Wolfwood thinks some things have no business existing, and could do away with them. Like... mosquitoes, and ticks. ]

I'm sure there's artistic merit, but I can't say I'm qualified for that. Sounds like you might be though.

[ Oi. ]

Don't just volunteer me to take pictures with you. I'd be taking up so much of your precious photo space.

[onlypets]

[D would say very quickly that both of those creatures are, in fact, important to the ecology of natural predators as a form of food; therefore, they should exist...]

Now, now. You are not as big as your friend Livio, so I do not think you will have to worry about space. T-chan and I will make room for you.

[He smiles at Wolfwood!]

[crucifer]

[ We can find alternatives to mosquitoes, D. There are so many genuses of insects.

Wolfwood just pointedly readjusts his grip on the belted cross over his back, but raises a brow. Okay, he'll bite. Why not. ]

What's your artistic vision, count?

[onlypets]

[DON'T DISRUPT THE ECOSYSTEM BY KILLING OFF OTHER SPECIES, HE WILL BE EXTREMELY UPSET!!!!!

The fact Wolfwood does not acknowledge what he said is very funny to him also. He thinks it's amusing.]

Let's see... First, put that giant thing over there--no, wait. On second thought, keep it. Come here.

[He takes Wolfwood by the upper arm and directs him over to the wooden gate.]

Lean on this. T-chan, come here, please.

[crucifer]

[ BUT THE MALARIA, D... also look. Livio is honkin' huge. I honestly think Sipp was being conservative with 6'7".

Normally he'd have more of a protest about being manhandled like this, but it's touch week so. He just lets it happen. He is raising a brow, though. ]

Good, 'cause I'm not leavin' it anywhere.

[ Just ftr. BUT JUST STANDS HERE, HE SUPPOSES. Flicks at the wooden gate while D is running around setting up other stuff... picks up a cactus and looks at it. Wowie. ]

[onlypets]

[Not that part. Livio is huge, though. D ran directly into him as if being huge is not a deterrent for people seeing you exist.

T-chan comes over, and D directs the totetsu to sit (begrudgingly) by Wolfwood's legs and the gate. T-chan does not look happy about this, so now it makes two of them.]

Mr. Wolfwood, please. [He yoinks the cactus away.] Be still.

[He greatly dislikes this FAKE cactus, so he just... chunks it off to the side lightly. Begone.]

[crucifer]

[ His cactus!!! Wow, he just watches him toss it. ]

That was personal.

[ Now he's cactusless, you did this to him. ]

[onlypets]

[lowe go to bed

D does not look concerned in the slightest. He flaps a hand near himself dismissively.]

Cacti are so easy to care for; fake ones are a disgrace to anyone who owns them. Now.

[He gets a hold of Wolfwood and moves him into a better position to stand.] Ah, the peacekeeper of the desert plains of Arizona. A priestkeeper, if you will. With his loyal totetsu. [He is setting up the vibe.

He steps back to look at the two of them while taking out his phone.]

T-chan, your fur blends into the backdrop too much, but we will make this work, don't worry. Father Nicholas D. Wolfwood, a man the civilians love, but a man the God-fearing hate.

[He

Takes a picture of just the two of them. :)]

[crucifer]

[ Stop I slept...

Somewhat Wolfwood is thinking 'damn, that was fake?' because there aren't enough plants on his planet to even make fake ones, but you know. He doesn't comment about that. ]

Guess it's another part of your passions as a pet owner and seller.

[ Just continues to be manhandled, he really would be more annoyed if it weren't kind of funny and it wasn't this week. He really is just standing there, raising a brow and very clearly mulling over this scenario D has set up for the two of them, and also feeling like he should find some sort of issue with the reputation D gave him but he doesn't feel like reputing it nor where to start. ]

What, you're not gonna be in it?

[onlypets]

[Please, your PLANTS. Livio has already given him a heart attack about it. THAT IS NOT THE FUTURE TIMELINE HE WANTS EVER.

He admires the photo on his phone for a moment (he's admiring T-chan). But he finally looks back up at Wolfwood trough his lashes.]

Are you wanting me to be in it with you? I don't know who Father Nicholas Wolfwood would run into during his peacekeeper journeys which I would be.

[crucifer]

[ WHY IS WOLFWOOD EVEN HERE EXCEPT JUST TO BE A SIDE PIECE FOR T-CHAN ]

I've ran into my fair share of eccentric merchants, you know. It's not that odd. You'd fit right into the Juukei District.

[ Moving his foot a bit away from T-chan. ]

Plus, I don't think your little friend is actually all that happy to be over here with me, instead of with you.

[onlypets]

I see. [He sounds so flat.] I'm the eccentric merchant now? How stereotypical. You must really be American for sure...

[Don't be rude to T-chan, wow. T-chan is now looking at Wolfwood's leg... But D glides over to them. He surveys Wolfwood a moment, then reaches up to fix Wolfwood's unfixable hair. It's touch week, sue him. Maybe he'll burn his hands off next week when he realizes.

Then he bends down and scoops T-chan up under one arm against his chest. He offers his phone to Wolfwood.]

Take a picture of us then, Father Wolfwood and the eccentric merchant, Count D. Your arms are longer.

[crucifer]

You're the only shop of your kind in town, aren't you? That makes you eccentric. I don't know what American is.

[ Just throws that in btw.

He does somewhat raise a brow looking down at Count D for this but touch week means he's not as dismissive as he usually is, though still somewhat cognisant. Fixing his stray bang when D returns his attention to T-chan, like what's wrong with my hair... what was that about. ]

? What's my arm got to do with it?

[ Bro's never taken a selfie before. ]

[onlypets]

[Everything is wrong.

And tch. NEITHER DID HE? Up until recently. Get with the program, Wolfwood. D swishes the phone in his hand.]

You have to hold it up so it faces us and press the button on the front.

[crucifer]

[ The idea of D yelling about it later after touch week is funny. Also stop Wolfwood has learned how the phone but not why the phone. He doesn't learn many fun things.

Anyway he. Holds it out? He's seeing them on the screen. And taps the button as D suggests.

Hooray, they get a selfie! Wolfwood has this expression basically. ]

[onlypets]

[He will be a lot. It's fine maybe. It's not fine, and it won't be, but I can pretend before it happens.

When Wolfwood moves the phone out, D takes T-chan up a bit more in both arms so that T-chan actually reaches into the frame. Just a dumbass priest, cryptid shopkeeper and his one of the four evil fiends, flesh-eating pet.

D smiles mildly. T-chan has the usual case of resting bitch face.]

[crucifer]

[ What a weird ass picture. Wolfwood looks at it for a moment before handing it back. ]

I guess that wasn't a terrible experience, though I don't know what you're gonna do with this.

[onlypets]

[He shifts T-chan toward his shoulder so he can move a hand to take the phone. Both he and T-chan survey this picture of the three of them.

He laughs gently and moves away.]

Use it for blackmail probably.

[The way he says this so casually.]

[crucifer]

What, so you don't think we're best friends?

[ Yeah? ]

[onlypets]

[He pauses to give Wolfwood a Look over his shoulder. Wow.]

Come with me, best friend.

[He walks out of the Peacekeeper Arizona room and into another one.]

[crucifer]

You're still going for more photos? Maybe you're gettin' fond of this place.

[ Wow... bestie rapport... ]