Animals are rather simple to understand. More than humans. You always know what to expect from an animal because they live on their instincts.
[D and T-chan are at the door diagonal from the teenager girl's room.]
They have no consciences to tell them to be good or bad; they don't relish in another's suffering, they don't hide behind fake identities. They hunt and fight and spare for survival.
[This room has a fake ivy backdrop, a blue couch, and a neon light that says I WOKE UP LIKE THIS.]
It must make you mad then, when people describe something as animalistic. "Beastly", you know.
[ He still doesn't know who these backdrops are advertising for. Who in the world is waking up like this? Wolfwood is not down with the influencer culture. He's peering in over D's shoulder. ]
He just looks at Wolfwood again, like he had before, searching the man's face.] So many people here enjoying asking me this question, trying to categorize me with a label which will ease the burden of their fear and uncertainty. [His right eye is canary yellow and the left is midnight purple, though.
And his skin is pale and smooth, unmarred by age.]
Heterochromia isn't always necessarily an indicator of inhumanity. I first really almost typed heterosexuality and like, I guess so.
Wolfwood is rough around the edges, tanned and a little scruffy, but for being from a literal desert planet with ceaseless bearing suns and sandstorms, his skin is pretty smooth, build immaculate, wired with a strength that's humming constant. ]
[Heterosexuality too. You say this, but the colors are definitely not normal, listen here.
They're just both out here looking like a retinol ad, love that for them.]
The manager of Count D's Pet Shop. [Teasing, as if this is deeply clarifying. He doesn't look away.] Does the answer explain how you can carry such a big cross?
...No, you don't seem like a man who does anything for show. At least, not in that regard. [A thoughtful look.] Though I have heard you will scam me out of my money...
[ Sometimes, you are incredibly poor, and not everyone is looking for a brute bodyguard for hire. Gotta hustle somehow! It's rude to call him a scam, he has mouths to feed.
Anyway, it probably could enough to make sure he's alive, but he believes in self-sufficiency and elsewise. ]
Not as much as I'd like. 'Sides, I'm often out wanderin' the sands, and there's miles and miles between cities. It's not like I can just get an easy weekly allowance.
[Maybe he WILL feel sorry for Wolfwood then. Just for spite.]
Maybe you should become a detective after all... You've already been a bodyguard, so you must know how to protect yourself and others. And you're apparently good at figuring out which people would pay you for whatever fatherly service.
You could open a lucrative business in the harsh lands of your world.
The question earns a snort, so Wolfwood can already tell this is going to be Something.]
Leon Orcot. He was a giant nuisance. A boorish womanizer who smoked too much and spent his time sticking his nose into other people's business. [HE IS LITERALLY A DETECTIVE, IDIOT.] He always tried to accuse me of being up to no good, his apartment was a wreck, he didn't like sweets at all, and he always tried to logic away the magic of the world.
[Not him roasting Wolfwood in the process of roasting Leon.]
I haven't accused you of no-good yet, I don't have an apartment, I like the occasional sweet thing, and it's not like I haven't seen my fair share of the unusual.
[ He doesn't have anything for the first few points, he doesn't even bother defending against 'nuisance' because he thinks it's funny. Womaniser is also wobble hands but hey, again it's funny. ]
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Animals are rather simple to understand. More than humans. You always know what to expect from an animal because they live on their instincts.
[D and T-chan are at the door diagonal from the teenager girl's room.]
They have no consciences to tell them to be good or bad; they don't relish in another's suffering, they don't hide behind fake identities. They hunt and fight and spare for survival.
[This room has a fake ivy backdrop, a blue couch, and a neon light that says I WOKE UP LIKE THIS.]
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[ He still doesn't know who these backdrops are advertising for. Who in the world is waking up like this? Wolfwood is not down with the influencer culture. He's peering in over D's shoulder. ]
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I suppose we did wake up like this.
[He lifts his head to glance at Wolfwood over his shoulder.]
Yes, it does. Especially when humans are the most beastly of all.
[(knives voice)]
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He stands here for a moment, a little awash in the light too, a low hum in the deep part of his throat of consideration. ]
Are you human?
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He just looks at Wolfwood again, like he had before, searching the man's face.] So many people here enjoying asking me this question, trying to categorize me with a label which will ease the burden of their fear and uncertainty. [His right eye is canary yellow and the left is midnight purple, though.
And his skin is pale and smooth, unmarred by age.]
Are you?
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Heterochromia isn't always necessarily an indicator of inhumanity. I first really almost typed heterosexuality and like, I guess so.
Wolfwood is rough around the edges, tanned and a little scruffy, but for being from a literal desert planet with ceaseless bearing suns and sandstorms, his skin is pretty smooth, build immaculate, wired with a strength that's humming constant. ]
Depends on who I'm talkin' to.
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They're just both out here looking like a retinol ad, love that for them.]
The manager of Count D's Pet Shop. [Teasing, as if this is deeply clarifying. He doesn't look away.] Does the answer explain how you can carry such a big cross?
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Maybe other bitches should get up to their skincare level? ]
It's not that heavy, but I consider the weight special in its own way. Dunno how much of a religious man you are.
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The burden of your cross? Very symbolic of you, Father Wolfwood.
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What, you thought I just had this for show? It's not great for my back.
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...No, you don't seem like a man who does anything for show. At least, not in that regard. [A thoughtful look.] Though I have heard you will scam me out of my money...
So maybe you do like putting on a show.
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Heh. He has such a smarmy look at that. But also Vash needs to stop calling him a scammer, those things are different okay. ]
It ain't a scam if you get what you're payin' for. I always deliver.
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Oh? A delivery man... And what exactly kind of services are you delivering?
[Don't think he's interested! He's curious how Wolfwood will tell him...]
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I'm pretty flexible, so it depends on what's in need.
The more sanctified sorts of services, usually. Prayers, rites.
When times are rough, I take on extra jobs, like bodyguarding.
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He tilts his head a bit and raises a brow.]
I’m guessing the scam part of your scheme is a high rate and not desertion…?
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That's not a scam. I charge appropriately for what I do.
[ Just that usually, confession is a free service if you go to a proper church is all. ]
I'm not lazy, I just need to survive. Damn.
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Your scummy church services, sir??? Look, he doesn’t know Wolfwood’s denomination or anything. Maybe that’s a feature not a flaw.]
Does the church not pay you…?
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Anyway, it probably could enough to make sure he's alive, but he believes in self-sufficiency and elsewise. ]
Not as much as I'd like. 'Sides, I'm often out wanderin' the sands, and there's miles and miles between cities. It's not like I can just get an easy weekly allowance.
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He looks at Wolfwood like he’s wondering if he is meant to feel sorry for him.]
It sounds like you need a new career, Mr. Wolfwood.
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If it were that easy, you don't think I'd be working something else?
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Maybe you should become a detective after all... You've already been a bodyguard, so you must know how to protect yourself and others. And you're apparently good at figuring out which people would pay you for whatever fatherly service.
You could open a lucrative business in the harsh lands of your world.
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He snorts at this though. ]
You keep mentioning detective this, detective that. Who's he?
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The question earns a snort, so Wolfwood can already tell this is going to be Something.]
Leon Orcot. He was a giant nuisance. A boorish womanizer who smoked too much and spent his time sticking his nose into other people's business. [HE IS LITERALLY A DETECTIVE, IDIOT.] He always tried to accuse me of being up to no good, his apartment was a wreck, he didn't like sweets at all, and he always tried to logic away the magic of the world.
[Not him roasting Wolfwood in the process of roasting Leon.]
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[ He doesn't have anything for the first few points, he doesn't even bother defending against 'nuisance' because he thinks it's funny. Womaniser is also wobble hands but hey, again it's funny. ]
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I'm sure you have plenty of time here for all of that to change.
[Maybe. He gestures at T-chan on the couch.] I trust T-chan's judgement. [T-chan huffs from the couch.]
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