(homo) rin

[onlypets]

Comments

[damp]

[ puts his head in his hands ]

Great. Me and the guy who killed me.

[onlypets]

[Gives Rin a bombastic side-eye.

He continues casually and idly sort of eating, quiet for a fairly long time.]

I've already told you why I chose you. There isn't anything more to be said about what happened both for my choices and for killing you. But I want you to know that I have never killed a human, and I never would have if I hadn't been forced.

[...]

So... I'm sorry. For what I did to you. I know it won't change things, and you do not have to forgive me, but you deserve an apology regardless of any dislike I have for humans.

[damp]

[ ...

He doesn't lift his head at first, though there's a tension that works up his spine, noticeable in the way that his shoulders hike up.

After a moment, he sits back up. ]

... I don't blame anyone who plays the game and kills people. If I was strong enough to erase someone else, I'm not sure that I wouldn't do it, if it came down to it.

[ His fingers curl into a fist. ]

I don't know what your issue is. Maybe you're totally justified. [ ... ] But you're right, I don't forgive you. But...

[ He scowls, hating himself for what he's about to say. ]

Ever heard the phrase, "don't hate the player, hate the game"?

[onlypets]

[LOOK AT HIM BINCH (no). He lets Rin do what is needed, or take whatever time is needed before responding. It's a lot.

He puts some sushi in his mouth and chews it quietly while Rin talks. A wry, tiny snort comes out of his nose.]

I'll tell you something I don't tell anyone most of the time, not unless I'm erasing their memories. It's a family secret.

[He looks away idly, thoughtfully.]

Humans exterminated my people a very long time ago simply because one of us refused the love of an emperor. He had us all killed after we had spent so long helping humans communicate with the animals. Only one of us managed to escape. My grandfather. This hate has been handed down in my family for a very long time. We'll never forgive the humans for what they've done. We continue to see it done to others, to animals and the planet.

This is why what you said made me angry. That sacrificing those closest to you was worth it to reach your ultimate desire.

[damp]

[ Okay, well. That's a lot. It's so much that he can't really wrap his head around it, but he can understand... the hatred, at least. He learned about generational trauma in history class.

He laces his fingers together and then unlaces them. ]

That doesn't make it okay for you to target me. [ He says, in a stunning show of self-worth that he normally doesn't feel. ] Not answering my sister's texts because I was busy with swim practice doesn't mean I deserved to go through that.

And that's not the type of sacrifice I meant, anyway. I meant that I missed out on sleep, on eating whatever I want, on living in a country where I spoke the language because of swimming. All the other stuff... Ignoring my sister [ ... ] and pushing away my friends, I regret that.

I'm not... trying to make excuses, I just want you to understand.

[ He finally looks over at D, glancing at him through his hair. ]

... And you said you wouldn't kill a human if your hand wasn't forced, so I guess I can respect that with everything your family's been through and how long you've lived.

[onlypets]

[The expression on his face softens ever so slightly as he watches, and listens, to Rin.]

Killing humans means… I am no better than a human. I don’t think I could make my father understand this even if I had tried.

There’s no need for us to do that, Grandfather, or Father, or even my son. Humans always end up destroying themselves on their own.

They just also have the terrible habit of destroying others while doing so.

[damp]

[ HELLO ]

You have a son...?

[onlypets]

[He gives Rin a look before glancing away…… He thinks about not explaining. It’s no one’s business, especially not a human’s.

But then he looks back again.]

Yes. He was born recently, but it isn’t the way you think. My son… used to be my father.

[damp]

[ okay. ]

[damp]

[






what ]

[damp]

... So that really isn't anything that I would think. Is that... how your species normally works?

[onlypets]

[Rin. (He’s valid honestly.)]

The detective shot him. When we die, we’re reborn again. The son becomes the father, and so on, and so on. Grandfather raises whoever was recently renewed.

[More quietly:]

…We are clones. My father and I.

[damp]

[ D WHAT IS YOUR LIFE ]

O... kay. [ o_o ] Are you all... usually clones...?

[onlypets]

[I didn't even get this notif, hello.]

There are only three of us, and yes. There needs to be two of us, so we don't forget.

[damp]

[ the way i just realized they should be emotionsharing this entire time

well, d can probably guess that rin is absolutely bewildered without feeling his emotions. ]

So, your grandfather cloned his son to make sure there would at least be two of you?

[onlypets]

[WE BOTH FORGOT AND EMOTION SHARE WOULD HAVE HELPED THE APOLOGY

D is… actually feeling kind of sad.]

My father cloned himself and Grandfather to make me.

[damp]

[ that's kind of surprising. rin's not sure why he wouldn't expect sadness from d. ]

Why?

[onlypets]

[He looks away.]

There has to be two of us.

[damp]

[ The vibes are... sad, awkward and confused. ]

So he just created you for that? Doesn't sound like... a great dad.

[onlypets]

[The sadness melts into something sternly detached.]

He is my father only in title. I had only met him again recently. I did not see him the rest of my life.

The same will be true for my son, and then his son, and then his.

[damp]

[ He seems... weirdly anxious about this. ]

Does it have to be that way? What happens if you change it?

[onlypets]

This is the way it must be for us to fulfill our duty as caretakers. The pet shop cannot be left alone. One must be born anew, and one must be already in motion.

[He looks at Rin, face a bit thin to match the prickle of resolution. Resignation?]

This was about you, not about me anyway.

[damp]

[ don't look at him he's shy ]

It's about both of us, idiot. [ he just mutters before stuffing more sushi in his face, grief and frustration rolling off him ] You don't trust humans but maybe there's someone else that could... help.

[onlypets]

[The juxtaposition of these threads is killing me.]

There isn't anyone. It's not beneficial for us to have ties anywhere. We're not restricted by mankind's enforced boundaries. We come, and we go. [He smiles, but the feelings behind the smile are sad.] We live and we die.

My father left me with the same words I will one day give my son: Do not embrace hope again. We must never forgive the humans.

[damp]

[ D is really opening up his entire heart to Rin. ]

... Don't you think you could be better than him? [ Furrows his brows. ] Isn't there anyone that you care about, other than the pets at your shop.