[YOU REALLY SAID MATSUI CAN BE TRAUMATIZED GOING INTO THE NEW WEEK!!!!
They are out here in the middle of the street, full of pain.]
I had... wanted to save him. No, I knew I could. The fall would make him pass out, and I could safely take him to get help which would allow me to leave.
[YEAH YEAH TRAUMA!! ALSO NOT THE CHRISTIAN BROTHERS AAAA.
Matsui does have a weakness to both kids and also people with kid siblings that they have to look out for... For no particular reason....... gets that mem out...]
...But you found yourself here, instead.
[Wow thinking that he'd died in the middle of trying to save that guy must have been a really unpleasant thing to believe!]
[It had been a little unpleasant, yes. He had planned to leave anyway regardless; any connection he had with Leon and Chris should have (and would be) severed. Duty comes first.
There is no room for hope and relations.]
I had assumed we died considering, but... I suppose that is not true.
...No. It seems that the end was not quite in the way that we had thought...
[He can recall asking one of the Reapers earlier if it wasn't a strange thing, for not a single one of them to remember how they died, because most people don't die in highly traumatizing ways. Most are just a little blink of light flashing out in the darkness of sleep.]
...How do you feel about him?
[A man that killed his father (FATHER-SON??) and yet, someone he still wanted to extend the kindness of life toward.]
The question makes his expression turn pensive, bunched in the brows and the thinning of his lips. He turns his head slightly away, and he doesn’t lift his mismatched eyes.]
I’m not sure that matters any longer. I’m here with a slim chance if returning, and what’s more, the detective has his own life to live. I am merely a summer storm passing through; if I did return at all, the shop would be somewhere else entirely.
Matsui watches D as he ponders through these things, quiet. He knows too well how it works - feeling one way, knowing that it hardly matters because of circumstance. Hearts are such a burden.]
Even knowing that it doesn't matter doesn't necessarily make it easier to set aside the things you feel, though.
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no subject
For now Matsui's just here with this one exhausting memory on top of the other exhausting memory.]
What was it that you had wanted to do, then?
[JUMP AND DIE?? TAKE THAT HUMAN WITH HIM??? He has a feeling that's not it but he also wouldn't be surprised if it was.]
no subject
They are out here in the middle of the street, full of pain.]
I had... wanted to save him. No, I knew I could. The fall would make him pass out, and I could safely take him to get help which would allow me to leave.
He has his brother Chris to return to, after all.
[THINKS ABOUT THE TWO CHRISTIAN BROTHERS]
no subject
Matsui does have a weakness to both kids and also people with kid siblings that they have to look out for... For no particular reason....... gets that mem out...]
...But you found yourself here, instead.
[Wow thinking that he'd died in the middle of trying to save that guy must have been a really unpleasant thing to believe!]
no subject
[It had been a little unpleasant, yes. He had planned to leave anyway regardless; any connection he had with Leon and Chris should have (and would be) severed. Duty comes first.
There is no room for hope and relations.]
I had assumed we died considering, but... I suppose that is not true.
no subject
...No. It seems that the end was not quite in the way that we had thought...
[He can recall asking one of the Reapers earlier if it wasn't a strange thing, for not a single one of them to remember how they died, because most people don't die in highly traumatizing ways. Most are just a little blink of light flashing out in the darkness of sleep.]
...How do you feel about him?
[A man that killed his father (FATHER-SON??) and yet, someone he still wanted to extend the kindness of life toward.]
no subject
The question makes his expression turn pensive, bunched in the brows and the thinning of his lips. He turns his head slightly away, and he doesn’t lift his mismatched eyes.]
I’m not sure that matters any longer. I’m here with a slim chance if returning, and what’s more, the detective has his own life to live. I am merely a summer storm passing through; if I did return at all, the shop would be somewhere else entirely.
no subject
Matsui watches D as he ponders through these things, quiet. He knows too well how it works - feeling one way, knowing that it hardly matters because of circumstance. Hearts are such a burden.]
Even knowing that it doesn't matter doesn't necessarily make it easier to set aside the things you feel, though.