[THAT FIRST SENTENCE HITS HIM IN THE CORE. Hilarious. Why are they both weirdos with a cop who wants to arrest them desperately. Rats him out to his wife. Leon is also the wife? This is said canonly. I HATE IT HERE.
D is... looking out of the window wondering what the hell Fei Du is doing. This feels more and more like a kidnapping.]
I've met those types, yes.
[He gave a bunny to a woman who had been such a negligent mother by feeding her daughter's drug addiction, and they killed her husband and almost killed her. It's fine....
He glances warily at Fei Du, reaching slowly up to hold onto the grab handle above his head.]
fei du smiles. he smiles in the way that suggests absolutely nothing dangerous is going to happen or also that something extremely dangerous is going to happen.
he revs the engine.
and then when the light turns he fucking guns it, like, pedal to the metal, so the tires shriek and the car takes off like a bat out of hell, immediately wrenching the steering wheel so they drift around the west exit bus terminal ramp like this is mario kart or fast and the furious. if it helps he has like, total control of the situation - he drives with perfect confidence, pulling them out of the wide, banked turn and then shooting back off through the miyashita park underpass, nyooming through cars like it's nothing.
As soon as the force of taking off shoves him back against the seat, D lets out a loud shriek, like the one you give when you get tossed over the first drop of a roller coaster. He clutches desperately to the grab handle, shoving his shoulders to his ears and squeezing his eyes shut.]
fei du is delighted by this reaction which is probably worse for poor d, especially because it is like. blatantly obvious he's delighted. he leans forward in his seat, hands wrapped expertly around the steering wheel, and takes them over a hill where they get a little bit of air time.
the car hits the ground on all four wheels, perfectly safe, and he brings it around into an alleyway, and then casually flips the gear, slinging his arm around the back of d's seat so he can look over his shoulder and drive backwards. he is not driving slow. ]
Why is Fei Du the gremlin twin of the two of them?! (As if he can't be a gremlin himself much of the time.) He's still clinging to the grab handle, trying to stop his body from getting rocked back and forth in every direction as Fei Du speeds them through.]
Mr. Fei, I'm already dead; I don't need to die twice!! This is too fast! [As they go over the hill:] MR. FEI!
[He slumps forward as the car slows and switches gear to reverse. He can't even remember if he's had his eyes open this whole time or not.]
[THIS TELLS HIM NOTHING. The rest of it tells him TOO MUCH actually. His knuckles are white on the grab handle. You really are shredding every last nerve of his, Fei Du.
He rocks in the seat as they swing in to park, somehow unscathed and also somehow alive. He lets out the loudest, heavier sigh of relief, lowering his hands from the handle. Instead, he holds one hand against his chest like he might have a heart attack.]
Please stop saying things that just make it worse!
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no subject
D is... looking out of the window wondering what the hell Fei Du is doing. This feels more and more like a kidnapping.]
I've met those types, yes.
[He gave a bunny to a woman who had been such a negligent mother by feeding her daughter's drug addiction, and they killed her husband and almost killed her. It's fine....
He glances warily at Fei Du, reaching slowly up to hold onto the grab handle above his head.]
Mr. Fei.......
no subject
fei du smiles. he smiles in the way that suggests absolutely nothing dangerous is going to happen or also that something extremely dangerous is going to happen.
he revs the engine.
and then when the light turns he fucking guns it, like, pedal to the metal, so the tires shriek and the car takes off like a bat out of hell, immediately wrenching the steering wheel so they drift around the west exit bus terminal ramp like this is mario kart or fast and the furious. if it helps he has like, total control of the situation - he drives with perfect confidence, pulling them out of the wide, banked turn and then shooting back off through the miyashita park underpass, nyooming through cars like it's nothing.
wheeeeeee ]
no subject
As soon as the force of taking off shoves him back against the seat, D lets out a loud shriek, like the one you give when you get tossed over the first drop of a roller coaster. He clutches desperately to the grab handle, shoving his shoulders to his ears and squeezing his eyes shut.]
MR. FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIII!!!
[HE IS SUFFERING SO GREATLY AND FOR WHAT!!!]
no subject
fei du is delighted by this reaction which is probably worse for poor d, especially because it is like. blatantly obvious he's delighted. he leans forward in his seat, hands wrapped expertly around the steering wheel, and takes them over a hill where they get a little bit of air time.
the car hits the ground on all four wheels, perfectly safe, and he brings it around into an alleyway, and then casually flips the gear, slinging his arm around the back of d's seat so he can look over his shoulder and drive backwards. he is not driving slow. ]
Here, let me park...
[ LIKE THIS IS NORMAL ]
no subject
Why is Fei Du the gremlin twin of the two of them?! (As if he can't be a gremlin himself much of the time.) He's still clinging to the grab handle, trying to stop his body from getting rocked back and forth in every direction as Fei Du speeds them through.]
Mr. Fei, I'm already dead; I don't need to die twice!! This is too fast! [As they go over the hill:] MR. FEI!
[He slumps forward as the car slows and switches gear to reverse. He can't even remember if he's had his eyes open this whole time or not.]
Where did you get your license?!
no subject
[ this is probably not comforting
he parallel parks backwards without even looking. it is perfectly done. fei du swings into the parking spot without even slowing down.
and then settles back in his chair and exhales like a satisfied cat as he parks the car. that was fun! ]
It's a lot easier to do that when you aren't being shot at, actually.
no subject
He rocks in the seat as they swing in to park, somehow unscathed and also somehow alive. He lets out the loudest, heavier sigh of relief, lowering his hands from the handle. Instead, he holds one hand against his chest like he might have a heart attack.]
Please stop saying things that just make it worse!
no subject
Sorry, sorry. [ he is not sorry at all. ] Not much of an adrenaline junkie?