[ listen. it sounds like those guys deserved it? also frankly despite his hemophobia, scary gory things sure don't bother him at all. he's a little macabre. or a lot macabre. mr "says suspicious shit all the time for no reason" x 2.
but, yes. unbothered! he is unbothered both by this very vicious act of self defense and also the fact that he just died on a motorcycle like two or three days ago. whatever cars are different. ]
Good. [ i hope t-chan is in the backseat. for now fei du is a very good driver, stopping appropriately at a stoplight and humming an affirmative. ] As for driving - cars are a hobby of mine. I think I have... twelve, now? Maybe less. I've lost a couple recently.
[It's true, they did deserve it... It's fine. The animals are the ones who did the act unprompted anyway. "They were protecting Count D, and he told them not to leave any evidence." LISTEN.
The idea of Fei Du being extremely rich doesn't appear to make him uncomfortable or even disgusted. He has... unfortunately dealt with many of the rich, from royalty to the mafia. Those people like pets, too?]
Do you only like to collect them, or do you also work on them?
[T-CHAN DIDN'T COME, but damn, I should have made him come so he could be buckled in the back seat.]
[ fei du makes a thoughtful noise, tilting his head back and forth. ] I can do basic repairs on my own, and I think if I probably set my mind to it, I could fix things that were more difficult. I did hot wire this one - I've always been better with electrical work.
[ "where did he get a key then" there was a spare in the glovebox i didn't think about it that hard but i wanted him to hot wire a car so here we are ]
But, I have a mechanic I keep on my payroll, so I usually leave that to him. I'm mostly just a collector and a driver. [ eat the rich, etc.
as the light turns green, he eases the car forward for their nice little drive, cruising around looking for somewhere good. shouldn't be too much longer. ] And yes - motorcycles too. Racing is a hobby of my friend group.
[ the bit about writing to wenzhou gets him to grin. ]
I'm sure he'd love to arrest me one way or another. [ actually this is an extremely valid threat but it only works in certain situations, ie: ] But, as long as I'm staying out of danger, it should be fine.
[ don't tell his wife.
anyway. he makes a pleased noise as he spots a nice area to actually get started and pulls the car off towards the west exit terminal with its big ramps. ] And, yes - everyone gets their thrills somehow. Sometimes it's attending amusement parks, sometimes it's racing cars, sometimes it's doing cocaine and partying.
[
does fei du do all those things? questions for the ages. it's hard to tell based on his facial expression, because he looks very amused, in the enigmatic "its a mystery" sort of way.] They're fun people.
[THAT FIRST SENTENCE HITS HIM IN THE CORE. Hilarious. Why are they both weirdos with a cop who wants to arrest them desperately. Rats him out to his wife. Leon is also the wife? This is said canonly. I HATE IT HERE.
D is... looking out of the window wondering what the hell Fei Du is doing. This feels more and more like a kidnapping.]
I've met those types, yes.
[He gave a bunny to a woman who had been such a negligent mother by feeding her daughter's drug addiction, and they killed her husband and almost killed her. It's fine....
He glances warily at Fei Du, reaching slowly up to hold onto the grab handle above his head.]
fei du smiles. he smiles in the way that suggests absolutely nothing dangerous is going to happen or also that something extremely dangerous is going to happen.
he revs the engine.
and then when the light turns he fucking guns it, like, pedal to the metal, so the tires shriek and the car takes off like a bat out of hell, immediately wrenching the steering wheel so they drift around the west exit bus terminal ramp like this is mario kart or fast and the furious. if it helps he has like, total control of the situation - he drives with perfect confidence, pulling them out of the wide, banked turn and then shooting back off through the miyashita park underpass, nyooming through cars like it's nothing.
As soon as the force of taking off shoves him back against the seat, D lets out a loud shriek, like the one you give when you get tossed over the first drop of a roller coaster. He clutches desperately to the grab handle, shoving his shoulders to his ears and squeezing his eyes shut.]
fei du is delighted by this reaction which is probably worse for poor d, especially because it is like. blatantly obvious he's delighted. he leans forward in his seat, hands wrapped expertly around the steering wheel, and takes them over a hill where they get a little bit of air time.
the car hits the ground on all four wheels, perfectly safe, and he brings it around into an alleyway, and then casually flips the gear, slinging his arm around the back of d's seat so he can look over his shoulder and drive backwards. he is not driving slow. ]
Why is Fei Du the gremlin twin of the two of them?! (As if he can't be a gremlin himself much of the time.) He's still clinging to the grab handle, trying to stop his body from getting rocked back and forth in every direction as Fei Du speeds them through.]
Mr. Fei, I'm already dead; I don't need to die twice!! This is too fast! [As they go over the hill:] MR. FEI!
[He slumps forward as the car slows and switches gear to reverse. He can't even remember if he's had his eyes open this whole time or not.]
[THIS TELLS HIM NOTHING. The rest of it tells him TOO MUCH actually. His knuckles are white on the grab handle. You really are shredding every last nerve of his, Fei Du.
He rocks in the seat as they swing in to park, somehow unscathed and also somehow alive. He lets out the loudest, heavier sigh of relief, lowering his hands from the handle. Instead, he holds one hand against his chest like he might have a heart attack.]
Please stop saying things that just make it worse!
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The lack of anything but playfulness on Fei Du's part keeps D slightly smiling.] No, they were quite alright. [The animals.
The men, uh. Well! Anyway...]
Do you often drive around in expensive cars you certainly have never had to steal except for here...?
[Looking out the window!]
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but, yes. unbothered! he is unbothered both by this very vicious act of self defense and also the fact that he just died on a motorcycle like two or three days ago. whatever cars are different. ]
Good. [ i hope t-chan is in the backseat. for now fei du is a very good driver, stopping appropriately at a stoplight and humming an affirmative. ] As for driving - cars are a hobby of mine. I think I have... twelve, now? Maybe less. I've lost a couple recently.
[ fckin rich people. ]
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The idea of Fei Du being extremely rich doesn't appear to make him uncomfortable or even disgusted. He has... unfortunately dealt with many of the rich, from royalty to the mafia. Those people like pets, too?]
Do you only like to collect them, or do you also work on them?
[T-CHAN DIDN'T COME, but damn, I should have made him come so he could be buckled in the back seat.]
Motorcycles as well...?
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[ "where did he get a key then" there was a spare in the glovebox i didn't think about it that hard but i wanted him to hot wire a car so here we are ]
But, I have a mechanic I keep on my payroll, so I usually leave that to him. I'm mostly just a collector and a driver. [ eat the rich, etc.
as the light turns green, he eases the car forward for their nice little drive, cruising around looking for somewhere good. shouldn't be too much longer. ] And yes - motorcycles too. Racing is a hobby of my friend group.
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Much of the stuff here is free, though I understand you probably only wanted to test your mettle…
[The hot wiring part doesn’t appear to bother him even if he is acting as if he’s playfully put-out.]
I should write to Mr. Luo and tell him what you’ve been up to… [His threat!] Your friend group sounds as if you all are quite adrenaline junkies…
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I'm sure he'd love to arrest me one way or another. [ actually this is an extremely valid threat but it only works in certain situations, ie: ] But, as long as I'm staying out of danger, it should be fine.
[ don't tell his wife.
anyway. he makes a pleased noise as he spots a nice area to actually get started and pulls the car off towards the west exit terminal with its big ramps. ] And, yes - everyone gets their thrills somehow. Sometimes it's attending amusement parks, sometimes it's racing cars, sometimes it's doing cocaine and partying.
[
does fei du do all those things? questions for the ages. it's hard to tell based on his facial expression, because he looks very amused, in the enigmatic "its a mystery" sort of way.] They're fun people.
Are you ready? You might want to hold on.
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D is... looking out of the window wondering what the hell Fei Du is doing. This feels more and more like a kidnapping.]
I've met those types, yes.
[He gave a bunny to a woman who had been such a negligent mother by feeding her daughter's drug addiction, and they killed her husband and almost killed her. It's fine....
He glances warily at Fei Du, reaching slowly up to hold onto the grab handle above his head.]
Mr. Fei.......
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fei du smiles. he smiles in the way that suggests absolutely nothing dangerous is going to happen or also that something extremely dangerous is going to happen.
he revs the engine.
and then when the light turns he fucking guns it, like, pedal to the metal, so the tires shriek and the car takes off like a bat out of hell, immediately wrenching the steering wheel so they drift around the west exit bus terminal ramp like this is mario kart or fast and the furious. if it helps he has like, total control of the situation - he drives with perfect confidence, pulling them out of the wide, banked turn and then shooting back off through the miyashita park underpass, nyooming through cars like it's nothing.
wheeeeeee ]
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As soon as the force of taking off shoves him back against the seat, D lets out a loud shriek, like the one you give when you get tossed over the first drop of a roller coaster. He clutches desperately to the grab handle, shoving his shoulders to his ears and squeezing his eyes shut.]
MR. FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIII!!!
[HE IS SUFFERING SO GREATLY AND FOR WHAT!!!]
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fei du is delighted by this reaction which is probably worse for poor d, especially because it is like. blatantly obvious he's delighted. he leans forward in his seat, hands wrapped expertly around the steering wheel, and takes them over a hill where they get a little bit of air time.
the car hits the ground on all four wheels, perfectly safe, and he brings it around into an alleyway, and then casually flips the gear, slinging his arm around the back of d's seat so he can look over his shoulder and drive backwards. he is not driving slow. ]
Here, let me park...
[ LIKE THIS IS NORMAL ]
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Why is Fei Du the gremlin twin of the two of them?! (As if he can't be a gremlin himself much of the time.) He's still clinging to the grab handle, trying to stop his body from getting rocked back and forth in every direction as Fei Du speeds them through.]
Mr. Fei, I'm already dead; I don't need to die twice!! This is too fast! [As they go over the hill:] MR. FEI!
[He slumps forward as the car slows and switches gear to reverse. He can't even remember if he's had his eyes open this whole time or not.]
Where did you get your license?!
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[ this is probably not comforting
he parallel parks backwards without even looking. it is perfectly done. fei du swings into the parking spot without even slowing down.
and then settles back in his chair and exhales like a satisfied cat as he parks the car. that was fun! ]
It's a lot easier to do that when you aren't being shot at, actually.
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He rocks in the seat as they swing in to park, somehow unscathed and also somehow alive. He lets out the loudest, heavier sigh of relief, lowering his hands from the handle. Instead, he holds one hand against his chest like he might have a heart attack.]
Please stop saying things that just make it worse!
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Sorry, sorry. [ he is not sorry at all. ] Not much of an adrenaline junkie?