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[onlypets]

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[crucifer]

[ Some of those icons are lookin' mighty Seto Kaiba-y. ]

Father's a title, it's earned shit. One that I don't really want.

I'm licensed enough to do basic things and have it not be considered blasphemy -- hear you out, say prayers for you. Don't have that kind of bigger authority though, and don't care to rise through the ranks.

[onlypets]

[STOP listen]

That’s good since I prefer calling you Mr. Wolfwood anyway.

[He stands and looks all around the ceiling and the walls again, like he’s in an art gallery.]

I’m surprised to run into a man who does not have lofty ambitions like those. Who takes care of children and inspires an almost seven foot man into looking up to him.

[crucifer]

Then you should've stuck to it.

[ He would also rather you just stick with Mr. Wolfwood. D is so polite...

Anyway Kendrick Lamar's Humble plays bass-boosted. ]

He wasn't always that big. Knew him when he was a lot scrawnier. People just grow up real fast when you're not looking.

[ He looks consideringly at the cathedral interior, and it's almost distant when he talks. ]

I neve wanted to go anywhere big, do anything huge.

[onlypets]

[Calls him Father when he is being annoying.]

Yes… They sure do.

[The expression staring at some arbitrary part of the cathedral is strangely soft before it fades into something mournfully hard.

And then it’s gone, replaced by the mirage of a smile he gives Wolfwood.]

And yet, how many places did you really go, and how many huge things swallowed you up?

[crucifer]

[ He comes back to reality, and the expression he fixes D with is a mix of mostly sardonic, but other little bits of the unreadable. ]

Told you, didn't I? Been all around the planet and more. So, plenty.

[onlypets]

See.

[See WHAT.

He moves out of the pews back into the aisle and slowly wanders down it toward the front.]

When you let go of earthly desires, life will bring you what you need to be satisfied.

[crucifer]

[ His expression goes briefly dark at that actually -- like a flicker of a shadow passing over. ]

Sorry, but I guess I've still got attachments that I'm not willing to let go of.

[onlypets]

[He said what he said, Nicky. Near the front, he pauses long enough to glance over his shoulder briefly.]

Attachments here or back home...?

[crucifer]

[ He thinks about it for a moment. Technically speaking? ]

...Both.

[onlypets]

How dangerous for you.

[He laces his fingers together in front of himself. Peers around the front architecture of the cathedral, and then turns halfway so he can look back at Wolfwood.]

I have a question for you, Mr. Wolfwood. If your time comes, hypothetically, can you do it? Can you kill someone else here in order to keep your team on the path to victory?

[crucifer]

[ He looks back at D through his shades. He has a reason he's always wearing those. ]

That's a pretty dangerous question to answer.

A "no" makes me a target. A "yes" makes me a danger.

[onlypets]

[Look at him in the eye like a real man with feelings.]

I'm only a visitor in God's house, not Judgement. Would you kill someone for your own desires? Would you discriminate among the ones here?

[crucifer]

[ You can't handle these feelings... ]

Yeah. I would.

[ Somewhat true to the both of those things -- he's got some standards. ]

I can't afford to be that kind of merciful, idealist saviour who thinks everyone can survive. If I don't take my chances, somebody else will.

I've got things I can't risk losing, things way too big for something like that.

[onlypets]

We're in agreement then.

[He twists back to the front of the church, gives it a cursory glance again.]

Except for the discrimination. Everyone here has an equal opportunity. Men, women, and children. All notion of right and wrong have been given up in death, and we are no higher than animals simply fighting for survival.

[crucifer]

I guess not. It isn't as if the higher-ups care.

[ In the end, he hopes, but his prayers have never been answered before. ]

I'm not really a fan of bein' stained red, honestly. But if that's the burden I'll have to take, then I'll wade through it as much as I need to.

[ Hopefully, it stays need to. ]

[onlypets]

It doesn't seem as if they do, no.

[A quiet sigh. He lowers his head, and then he turns around to walk down the middle aisle again, unhurried. He stops near Wolfwood.]

You can always ask for forgiveness later. Or so they say.

[crucifer]

[ He looks at him, corner of his mouth twitching in a smile that says he doesn't believe D. ]

Too late for that, count. I'll stay my hand until I need to, 'cause that's the deal I've got going on right now, but once stained red, it's never washing off.

[onlypets]

[Look, he’s just saying. Don’t laugh.]

I hope it stays that way for you then. Unstained.

[crucifer]

You ignored the part where I said too late?

[ Somehow... he can still sass a little. ]

[onlypets]

It's honorable you hold onto the things you experienced while alive and don't consider death a reset. [He doesn't say this like it's a bad thing.] I just meant here. I suppose I should have said I hope your hands don't become more stained.

[DON'T SASS.]

[crucifer]

...It's just 'cause I can't.

My death doesn't mean my problems stop existing. It's a cruelty that I'm still around, aware, and breathing.

Means I don't get the luxury of letting go.

[onlypets]

I don't know, Mr. Wolfwood. Maybe death is the place where you get the choice to let go. What you see as a cruelty is only a karmic opportunity to be a better person in the next life. Then you are reborn so you may start again. Only those who reach nirvana can be free of the shackles of existing again and again.

[He smiles a little.]

Excuse me, that isn't a Christian ideology.

[crucifer]

I've got an open mind.

[ Though being an open mind and accepting it for yourself are different things. ]

You think a next life would be better? Think the whole "weight of sins" thing is probably gonna drag me down someplace pretty shitty.

[onlypets]

[Same hat.]

I am not the same as everyone, but I would take a thousand different lives to try again than just a single one full of regrets at the end. It's a burden, but I would bear it. I don't want to become like my father; unfortunately, I believe it's my fate to walk in his shoes.

Unless I change.

[crucifer]

...

Do you think you can?

[ Do you think people change, D? ]