[ d's really the first one to make the connection - fei du's more worried about his reaction than he is hurting himself. he's warring with himself, viciously, in that he needs to feel, needs to make sure this loss hits him as hard and brutally as it is, needs to repress back his own violence. he wants to find the person who did this himself and flay them alive, wants to hang them in the middle of japanifornia like a reminder, to anyone who would even think they could harm luo wenzhou, but he can't think like that.
he doesn't come when he's beckoned, but he doesn't back away any further, either. this is an improvement? the electricity off of his hands finally fades, too, crackling out into static and then nothing. he's starting to exhaust himself from trying.
greet him with the rest of us, d says. it makes the inside of his throat close up. ]
It wasn't - [ despite the force of his thoughts, his voice is trembling almost as hard as he is, and he's reaching for the sharp edge of his fury, but it's not quite there. he's, for the first clear and obvious time for anyone to see, a fucking wreck. ] - it wasn't supposed to be like this.
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he doesn't come when he's beckoned, but he doesn't back away any further, either. this is an improvement? the electricity off of his hands finally fades, too, crackling out into static and then nothing. he's starting to exhaust himself from trying.
greet him with the rest of us, d says. it makes the inside of his throat close up. ]
It wasn't - [ despite the force of his thoughts, his voice is trembling almost as hard as he is, and he's reaching for the sharp edge of his fury, but it's not quite there. he's, for the first clear and obvious time for anyone to see, a fucking wreck. ] - it wasn't supposed to be like this.