[ Sometimes, you are incredibly poor, and not everyone is looking for a brute bodyguard for hire. Gotta hustle somehow! It's rude to call him a scam, he has mouths to feed.
Anyway, it probably could enough to make sure he's alive, but he believes in self-sufficiency and elsewise. ]
Not as much as I'd like. 'Sides, I'm often out wanderin' the sands, and there's miles and miles between cities. It's not like I can just get an easy weekly allowance.
[Maybe he WILL feel sorry for Wolfwood then. Just for spite.]
Maybe you should become a detective after all... You've already been a bodyguard, so you must know how to protect yourself and others. And you're apparently good at figuring out which people would pay you for whatever fatherly service.
You could open a lucrative business in the harsh lands of your world.
The question earns a snort, so Wolfwood can already tell this is going to be Something.]
Leon Orcot. He was a giant nuisance. A boorish womanizer who smoked too much and spent his time sticking his nose into other people's business. [HE IS LITERALLY A DETECTIVE, IDIOT.] He always tried to accuse me of being up to no good, his apartment was a wreck, he didn't like sweets at all, and he always tried to logic away the magic of the world.
[Not him roasting Wolfwood in the process of roasting Leon.]
I haven't accused you of no-good yet, I don't have an apartment, I like the occasional sweet thing, and it's not like I haven't seen my fair share of the unusual.
[ He doesn't have anything for the first few points, he doesn't even bother defending against 'nuisance' because he thinks it's funny. Womaniser is also wobble hands but hey, again it's funny. ]
[ Hurgh?! He didn't expect Count D to do this of all things so he does get an unexpected shock anyway. And then he just finds it funny. Oh, this bitch has a bully bone huh. ]
Sorry, that's not a habit that's going away any time soon. I'll keep a window open and some distance if that makes you feel better.
I’m used to it, but would prefer if you didn’t right beside me. And for goodness sakes, please put it out and not toss it on the ground like a heathen.
[ The more he talks to D about this detective the funnier the imagery gets. The world's most annoying weirdo detective who just won't leave the pet shop owner alone... ]
I'll be a good boy, at least inside. I'm not lookin' to cause any arson.
[ Yeah, okay. The idea of sexy T-chan photocards actually makes him laugh as he's batted out. Goodbye!! Puts paws on for next week bc I'm busy this weekend... ]
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Oh? A delivery man... And what exactly kind of services are you delivering?
[Don't think he's interested! He's curious how Wolfwood will tell him...]
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I'm pretty flexible, so it depends on what's in need.
The more sanctified sorts of services, usually. Prayers, rites.
When times are rough, I take on extra jobs, like bodyguarding.
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He tilts his head a bit and raises a brow.]
I’m guessing the scam part of your scheme is a high rate and not desertion…?
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That's not a scam. I charge appropriately for what I do.
[ Just that usually, confession is a free service if you go to a proper church is all. ]
I'm not lazy, I just need to survive. Damn.
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Your scummy church services, sir??? Look, he doesn’t know Wolfwood’s denomination or anything. Maybe that’s a feature not a flaw.]
Does the church not pay you…?
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Anyway, it probably could enough to make sure he's alive, but he believes in self-sufficiency and elsewise. ]
Not as much as I'd like. 'Sides, I'm often out wanderin' the sands, and there's miles and miles between cities. It's not like I can just get an easy weekly allowance.
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He looks at Wolfwood like he’s wondering if he is meant to feel sorry for him.]
It sounds like you need a new career, Mr. Wolfwood.
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If it were that easy, you don't think I'd be working something else?
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Maybe you should become a detective after all... You've already been a bodyguard, so you must know how to protect yourself and others. And you're apparently good at figuring out which people would pay you for whatever fatherly service.
You could open a lucrative business in the harsh lands of your world.
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He snorts at this though. ]
You keep mentioning detective this, detective that. Who's he?
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The question earns a snort, so Wolfwood can already tell this is going to be Something.]
Leon Orcot. He was a giant nuisance. A boorish womanizer who smoked too much and spent his time sticking his nose into other people's business. [HE IS LITERALLY A DETECTIVE, IDIOT.] He always tried to accuse me of being up to no good, his apartment was a wreck, he didn't like sweets at all, and he always tried to logic away the magic of the world.
[Not him roasting Wolfwood in the process of roasting Leon.]
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[ He doesn't have anything for the first few points, he doesn't even bother defending against 'nuisance' because he thinks it's funny. Womaniser is also wobble hands but hey, again it's funny. ]
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I'm sure you have plenty of time here for all of that to change.
[Maybe. He gestures at T-chan on the couch.] I trust T-chan's judgement. [T-chan huffs from the couch.]
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You secretly can't stand me or something? Rough...
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As annoying as it is, you are at least less bothersome than some of the others. Even if you smell like cigarettes.
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Sorry, that's not a habit that's going away any time soon. I'll keep a window open and some distance if that makes you feel better.
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I’m used to it, but would prefer if you didn’t right beside me. And for goodness sakes, please put it out and not toss it on the ground like a heathen.
[Prissy.]
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[ The more he talks to D about this detective the funnier the imagery gets. The world's most annoying weirdo detective who just won't leave the pet shop owner alone... ]
I'll be a good boy, at least inside. I'm not lookin' to cause any arson.
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He shoots Wolfwood a look which says a lot and also nothing.]
Don’t litter.
[HE IS SUCH A NEW AGE HIPPIE.]
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He is also lowkey a hussy... (don't it's a real word) ]
Fine, I hear you.
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He just peers very skeptically at Wolfwood for a moment or two.]
…Thank you.
[Assigned hussy and he even thanked Wolfwood politely tch smh…]
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I'll leave you to your photos, count. Maybe you can sell good ones of your pet for money.
[ Get yourself a side business of making intricate framed photos of T-chan in a bowtie... ]
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T-chan isn’t a harlot either! [Why did he make the photos lewd. To himself:] Though he would make very cute postcards…
[T-chan grumbly growls in offense.]
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